My Past, His Present, Your Future
by ellamalfoy8
Summary: On Temporary Hiatus “Now you have to understand that when a man loses everything, morals and laws kind of disappear. So I plead insanity as to why a 16 year old Lily Evans was resurrected in my bedroom.” Complete summary inside.
1. Harry

**A/N: Yes! A new angsty fan fic! Ok, this is going to be super angsty and unpredictable. Just a warning, be aware of the plot twists. And there WILL be romance, but I want to wait until everyone gets settled. So just be patient. And I'm just not going to tell you who will be falling for each other, but it won't be scary or anything. It won't be like Snape/Lily or anything; that would just be sick. No offense to Snape/Lily shippers.**

**Summary:** _"Now you have to understand that when a man loses everything, morals and laws kind of disappear. So I plead insanity as to why a 16 year old Lily Evans was resurrected in my bedroom." After the final battle, Harry is slightly senile, and recreates his mother out of loneliness. Of course, he didn't exactly think about the possible effects of this, and didn't realize that the spell he used was permanent, and that she would have to finish her education at Hogwarts with Remus as a teacher._

**So read and review, I would like some feedback as to where you all want this to go. My plot's kind of rough as of now. And each chapter will be from a different POV. Obviously I will be starting with Harry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything that you will recognize. Please don't ask me.**

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**My Past, His Present, Your Future**

**Chapter 1: Harry**

I'll say now that I'm not proud of what I did. With no regards to the law or to the feelings of those around me I willingly made the biggest mistakes of my life. And yet even now as I say these things, I will never regret what I did. I will say this in my defense: I was lonely. Hermione and Ron had settled down together, with Hermione working as an unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries and Ron was playing for the Chudley Cannons. I hardly ever saw them anymore anyway; our lives were just too different.

Ron was still Ron, my best friend. He still had freckles and a gangly and yet muscular frame. He had retained his sense of humor after the war. Hermione too had gone back to being happy and obsessed with research and learning. My best friends in the world seemed like the perfect picturesque couple, famous but not stalked by the paparazzi like I was. Sure they had played a huge part in the final battle and their lives had been changed, but not as much as mine.

Maybe I'm not giving them enough credit. After all, Ginny had been Ron's sister. The Weasley family had suffered huge loss when their youngest had been tortured and murdered in battle. I can still see Mr. Weasley's tearful speech at the funeral. His eyes had glittered as he had said his final goodbye to his only daughter, weeping openly along with everyone else. Everyone except one person: Me.

The loss of a lover is said to be the most painful thing a man can go through. Anyone who says that couldn't have felt half as bad as I did as I looked down one last time at my peaceful Ginny before I closed her casket. Having to watch her bite back a scream as she'd been tortured and knowing that it was done because of me had split whatever was left of my sanity into shards. Voldemort had given me a choice, I hand over his final horcrux or watch her writhe under Crucio, seeing her take her last breath as tears slid trails down her pale face. She had shaken her head, _don't choose me Harry._ It was the most difficult thing I have ever done, knowing if I chose Ginny's life I would cause the loss of so many more. 'Hero's make sacrifices everyday,' one of my teachers had told me. But I didn't want to be a hero! I wanted to be normal, have a wife and a baby. Grab my briefcase and a cup of coffee in the morning, then Apparate to work, where I would sit behind a desk and sort through paperwork.

But even before I lost her, even before I'd condemned her fate, I knew I would play hero. I always had played hero, and I could never escape it. My choice had already been made; I couldn't save her.

When sitting at a funeral, all someone wants is a family member to hug him or her and whisper something soothing in his or her ear. But as I looked down at my fallen angel no one came forward to comfort the Man-Who-Won. No person had wrapped their arms around me in a fierce hug and allowed me to curl up inside them. I really couldn't blame them, Hermione and Ron had each other, and the Weasleys were a family, but I had no one left. I said my final goodbyes to Ginevra Molly Weasley on my own, before curling up inside myself.

That's not to say that absolutely no one understood. During one of the later skirmishes between Aurors and Death Eaters, Tonks had been murdered by none other than Peter Pettigrew. Remus also rattled around 12 Grimmauld Place without a cause during the summer, when he wasn't teaching DADA at school, distraught and lost. We lived together in silent understanding; don't ask questions, because you won't get any answers.

So what does a reluctant hero do when he has nowhere to go and nothing to do? He busies himself. I researched death and dark magic tirelessly after the war ended, just looking for _something_. I don't even know what I thought I would find. But I found it. I wanted a parent, someone to comfort me and coo in my ear, someone to listen to me and make me hot coco, rub my back until I fell asleep. I found how to get that through a very shabby book in the back of the Black family library.

Now you have to understand that when a man loses everything, morals and laws kind of disappear. Things just don't matter anymore, and as I sat in the magic circle I'd created in my bedroom reciting the spell the book had listed, it didn't even occur to me the effect my actions would take. So I plead insanity and loneliness as to why sixteen-year-old Lily Evans suddenly appeared in my bedroom in the middle of August.

The ancient Mauvais spell hadn't been preformed for centuries, and for good reason. When it was used there was only a 5 success rate, and the other 95 always included the death of the spell caster. However none of this meant anything to me, I would welcome death. And so I sat in my circle of candles with a picture of my mother Sirius had given me and preformed one of the most dangerous spells ever created, therefore recreating my mother.

I didn't resurrect her, per say, I merely copy-pasted her. The Mauvais spell finds when the person was happiest and duplicates them at that age in your time. I wasn't changing the past, only working in the present. She had all her memories up until October of her sixth year, and was an actual living breathing human being. She would age normally because she _was_ the real thing.

I remember the candles had flickered as if I had left a window open and I looked around, waiting to something to happen. I raised a hand to flatten down my hair in anxiety, worrying about whether I had done something wrong. Had I pronounced something incorrectly? Hermione had always said that one wrong syllable would cause the whole spells affect to change. What if the ministry had detected the spell and flattened it before it could take affect? Would I get sent to Azkaban? Could I have brought back the wrong person?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I reluctantly opened them I feared what I might see. There, lying asleep across the moth-eaten carpet, was my mother in her pajamas. She looked so much like the pictures, yet so much different, her deep red hair falling elegantly across her face, and her cheek pressed against the floor. I was painfully reminded of my Ginny. I swear I could have watched her for hours. But predictably, I couldn't, because she woke up. It was almost comical to see her stretch languidly, her back on the carpet. Finally she cracked an eye, blinking as she took in the dimly lit room. I gasped, what everyone had said was true, her eyes were just like mine. Those eyes widened in shock as she saw me. I couldn't blame her when she started screaming bloody murder.

"Damn it Potter, how in Merlin's name did you get into the girl's dorms _again_?" I laughed to myself quietly. She sat up in alarm and glared at the candles. "Is this some type of sick joke? This time you've taken things too far! Where have you taken me?" I smiled, she was talking to me! My mother who I was never supposed to meet was talking to me! Granted, she thought I was my father, but still! Lily stood up, towering above me even in bare feet. "Well? Explain yourself, Potter!" I blinked at her, at a loss of what to say. She groaned in frustration, her eyes narrowing as she saw the book open in front of me. "My _god_ Potter, what spell where you about to use? Is this one of your twisted Marauder pranks? Is it?" This was surreal.

"Hi," I said pitifully, my eyes wide with amazement.

"Is that all you have to say? 'Hi?' Wait until Professor McGonagall hears about this, I hope you get a lot more than detention," she spat, sweeping her hair back from her eyes with a wave of her hand. Cool. Hr red and gold flannel pajamas made her green eyes stand out against her warm complexion. I took it all in, from her purple painted toenails, the hole in the knee of her pants, and the mismatched buttons in the wrong holes, to her unpeirced ears and glowering mouth. Somewhere among my fascinated stare she realized that I was not James Potter and mumbled, "James doesn't have scars." Fortunately I did not have to answer my confused mother because the last remaining Marauder stuck his head through my door.

"Harry, what on earth is going on up-," he started before he was interrupted, somehow not noticing the red headed spitfire currently trying to figure out who I was. Of course, she had looked up at the sound of his voice and immediately spoke, her voice small.

"Remus?" He jerked his head in her direction, his face paling considerably as he identified her. "My god, is that you? You look so different!" He entered the room completely, staying close to the wall as she took a hesitant step forward.

"Lily?" She frowned in shock at the state of his scrappy robes and slightly graying hair.

"You're an adult?" she whispered, before turning to look at me. "And he looks like James…" Her voice trailed off as she fainted, falling cleanly backwards, thankfully not in the direction of the still burning candles. Remus was faster than I and pulled out his wand to magically catch her before her head hit the floor and then lowered her gently onto her back on the ground. Then, looking angrier than I'd seen him since Tonks died, he turned to me and yelled,

"Harry James Potter, **_what_** did you **_do_**?"

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Remus has only been furious three times in his life from what I have been old. The first was with Sirius when the animagus tricked Snape to go down into the Whomping Willow. The second was when Peter murdered Tonks just before the final battle. The third was with me. When we were out in the hallway after he had carefully laid Lily on my bed and silencioed the door, he whirled around, absolutely seething.

"Explain." The thing about Remus was that when he lost his temper, he either got violent or very snarky and quiet. In my case it was the latter, even more frightening. He stood with his arms folded as I did my best to summarize the spell I had used, but I didn't state my reason why I had done what I had in the first place.

"I'm guessing you chose to overlook the consequences?" Remus hissed between clenched teeth. "You could be arrested, Harry." I gulped, a little unnerved at the steady level of his voice. "Tell me, what do you know of the Mauvais spell, with more specifics?" His narrowed eyes watched as I shifted from foot to foot, feeling once again like a schoolboy instead of a twenty-one year old man.

"Well, it finds the time at which the person was most happy and at peace, then recreates that person at that age with all their memories up to that point, in the present." He glowered at me, waiting for me to continue. Was there something I had forgot?"

"Do you know no more?" Remus asked, his voice edged with what sounded like disgust. I shook my head, beginning to count the holes in the floorboards beneath my feet. Soon he would give me a detention, that's what this felt like! Maybe I would walk back from his office to find my blushing Ginny working on an assignment in the common room. I would extend a hand to her and she would lace her fingers into mine, smiling devilishly up at me before pulling me down to sit on the rug beside her. Then once more, one final time I would kiss her lips that tasted of cherry lip-gloss and Acid Pops and everything would go back to normal.

"Perhaps it slipped your notice that he Mauvais spell is permanent." I jerked my head back up in surprise. "Lily is stuck here because of you. She will have to be educated and informed of your parents, as well as her past. You've really made a mess this time, Harry," he added as I gaped at him. Oops. Then he turned to face the door to my bedroom and pulled out his wand. "I'm going to make sure she's alright. It would be best for you if you stayed away from her until everything's been cleared up. At least I can offer her a somewhat familiar face." Remus' face slid back to its depressed calm as he placed a hand on the doorknob.

"What should I do to help?" I asked hesitantly. He sighed and closed her eyes. Nervous, I began to fidget with the hem of my shirt.

"Make toast, slightly burnt. Use butter, not margarine." At my raised eyebrows he added, "It should calm her down." I did as I was told and obediently started down the stairs, pondering the damage I had done.

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**A/N: Feedback please! And although it may be a little early to ask for this, could you write long reviews? They're so much fun to read. I don't have any teasers for you, but I can tell you that in the next chapter Remus tries to explain to Lily what's happened and they make plans for what she should do. Plus, Harry acts weird, need I say more? Please review! Toodles!**

**Next POV: **_Lily's_

**Final Word Count: 2597**


	2. Lily

**A/N: I'm glad you all liked the first chapter, 27 reviews for it! That's pretty good in my opinion, and if that keeps up hopefully I could get to 50 by the time I get back from vacation on Friday. Please? Please, I'll give you a major fluff chapter when I get home! Does that sound good? Anyway, I haven't yet written the next chapter, so I have no teaser. Just a warning.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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**Chapter 2: Lily**

"Ennerviate."

I opened my eyes slowly as if from a deep sleep. My sense of touch was stronger than that of sight as I awoke, and I quickly realized I was on a bed of some sort, above the soft covers. As my eyes began to adjust I found a man standing on the other side of my bed, behind the footboard. Upon closer inspection, I saw that he was a much older Remus Lupin. My memory of what had happened when I had woken up before swam before my eyes and I instantly sat up, regretting almost immediately as my blood rushed to my head. "No, no. Stay down, no need to worry, you're safe here." "I looked at him disbelievingly, but complied. Although I was scared out of my mind, the Remus Lupin I knew could be trusted. This man, however, I wasn't sure of yet. But my head was killing me, so I had no other choice. "Now I understand that you're confused and lost, so I'll do my best to explain what I can at this point in time." To hell I was lost! Anyone could see that! He placed his hands on the top of the footboard, looking solemn. "You are in year 2006 and I am the Remus Lupin you knew at school." I gasped, sitting up slowly. Suddenly he wasn't so funny.

"Who?" I asked urgently, my eyes never leaving his navy ones. He shifted his weight anxiously onto one foot, unconsciously biting his bottom lip.

"I'm afraid that no matter what way I tell you this, Lily, you'll still be confused."

"I don't care, just tell me how I got here!" He broke my gaze and looked down at the gray quilt on which I was sitting.

"The man who you say a few minutes ago, the one you thought was James, he brought you here." I waved my hand for him to continue. "His name is Harry and he is James' son. This may not make sense, but he is also yours." I let out a humorless laugh.

"Like that would ever happen. Potter and I procreating?" Remus silenced me with a stern look and I sank backwards, moving my hand to fiddle with the hem of my shirt. "But please continue."

"I know the idea of you and James may seem outrageous, but you'll just have to trust me. Anyway, Harry made a very bad decision and created you here."

"Created me? What, aren't I around in this time?" A very pained expression flitted across the man's face, making me want to eat my words. "Well, how did he do this?"

"An ancient spell, dark magic. It found the time when you were most at peace and relaxed, and recreated you at that age with all of your memories up to that point in the present." I blinked at him, raising my eyebrows.

"I don't know what you mean by peaceful, our NEWTs are only a year away and my parents are still ranting about Petunia's new idiot boyfriend, and you and Potter and Black are always sneaking into my dorms, planting dung bombs and booby trapping the stairways! Honestly, Potter and Black need babysitters; they can't go ten minutes without hexing some Slytherin. If I had a Knut for each time I've gotten asked out on a date in the-,"

"Stop Lily!" Remus gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as he leant forward, pressing his weight against his hands. During my mini-tyrade I hadn't noticed his face scrunch up in sadness and his skin grow clammy. "Just stop." At a loss for what to say, I nodded, even though his eyes were shut and he couldn't see me, and I mumbled,

"Sorry." Reeling even more confused than before, I asked, "Is there any way for me to get back?" He came out of his awkward revere and opened his eyes with a sigh. I waited patiently for him to answer, folding my legs underneath me.

"No. I'm afraid that you'll have to live here." Normally I would have started a panic attack, yelling at Remus and completely freaking out, but I realized something. If I was over twenty years in the future, and I had a son, and Remus was still around, wouldn't I still be also? Granted I hadn't been thrown under a bus of course. Couldn't I find out about my future and my past? Technically, couldn't I grow up with myself? But if Harry was my son, and Potter was his father, did that mean I would have to deal with James?

"Remus, if I'm in the future, does that mean I'll meet myself?" The effect my question had was frightening, though not to the untamed eye. The man took a very slow, deep breath and looked away, as I noticed his hands beginning to shake. What on earth had happened? "Remus?" He gulped, and resumed biting his lip. It was obvious what his silence meant. "My god, I'm dead aren't I?" That seemed to wake him up to a degree.

"What I am about to tell you may be frightening, but I must ask you not to ask questions until I'm finished, okay?" I nodded. "When we were in school, You-Know-Who was gaining in power. He started doing mass-killing sprees on muggles and during one such massacre your parents were killed." I gasped, but he put up his hand to stop me from speaking. "Because of this you turned to James for support and during your seventh school year your friendship with him grew to a romance." If I had been back home I would have snorted at the tackiness of his words. "Anyway, when we were in our early twenties You-Know-Who came after you and James. James died protecting you, as did you protecting Harry, your one-year-old son. Because of this protection Harry survived and You-Know-Who's Avada Kedavra rebounded onto him, but he didn't die. He was resurrected during Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts."

"Wait a sec," I interrupted suddenly as curiosity got the better of me. Remus looked back to me, a little annoyed that I had stopped him. "If Potter and I died, who took care of Harry?"

"Your sister and her husband." My jaw dropped.

"Petunia?" I exclaimed. "Who would put a child with _that_ psycho?"

"Dumbledore placed him there for a number of reasons. Normally Sirius would have-"

"Black? That's even worse!" Remus glared at me.

"Sirius would have taken him, but he was…" Remus took yet another deep breath, his glare fading to a downtrodden scowl. "Indisposed."

"How?" I asked shamelessly, unconsciously scooting further down the bed.

"It doesn't matter, alright?" He snapped back, and I shrunk back again. Seeing this, he softened. "I'm sorry Lily, it just isn't a pleasant story."

"No, I shouldn't have asked," I replied quietly. He nodded, his dark blond hair falling loosely into his haunted eyes.

"Anyway, during Harry's fourth year, You-Know-Who was resurrected. Most of the people who had lived through the first year, died during the second." There was an undertone to his voice when he said that last sentence that sent a shiver up my spine. He plowed on, "Those who survived weren't the same anyway. A few months ago Harry defeated You-Know-Who, but the pressure from being in his position and the paparazzi, who have taken a liking to him, have driven him slightly crazy, so sometimes he tends to act without thinking and make bad decisions."

"And that's how I'm here now?" I asked. He nodded. "Wow. So there's no way to get back?"

"No. I suppose you can come to Hogwarts with me when term starts in a few days, but you'll need an alias, as well as clothing and school stuff. Plus, we can let Harry deal with his own consequences."

"Can I ask you a question, Remus?" I asked hesitantly, a little unsure about this older Remus Lupin. He looked older, yes, but he was still the teenager who had helped me with my transfiguration homework only a few hours ago! And yet his eyes, they had so much more experience. He'd seen sadness… death possibly. He was wiser, and also much more solemn. It hurt to look him in the eye.

"Go ahead." There was so much I wanted to ask him. Had I passed all my NEWTs? Had I gotten a job as an auror as I had planned? Had I _really_ married Potter, ruler of all that is arrogant and juvenile? But one question mattered the most.

"You said a lot of people died in the war. Who's left?" My question lingered in the stale air as I watched Remus swallow, his mouth dry. Part of me dreaded his answer. It wouldn't be pleasant, judging by the ghosts in his eyes. He might have tried to hide them from others, but I knew Remus too well. After all, I was the one who had first figured out that he was a werewolf. I waited for him to reply with baited breath, a little scared by the lost look that glazed over his eyes like a net. Then he softly answered, almost so quietly that I didn't hear him,

"Me." Before I could reach out and take his hand in what seemed like a way to comfort him, a hesitant knock was made on the door. Remus called, "Come in." The James-look-alike, or my son I should say, gently pushed open the door, carrying a small tray. He avoided my eyes, looking guilty, as he passed it off to Remus, before clasping his hands behind his back and looking towards the floor. My friend turned to me and handed me the tray, saying, "I figured you might be hungry." With a smile I realized that he had given me toast, prepared just the way I liked it.

"Thanks Remus." I shamelessly dug in, not really listening to the conversation that followed between my son and the man before me.

"Harry, do you think any of Ginny's old things would fit Lily? She'll need some clothing until I can go to Diagon Alley." Harry's eyes widened as he took a step back, looking towards his dresser.

"Gin didn't like to share her things, she never wanted anyone to stretch out her clothes." Remus sighed, obviously expecting this.

"I know this is hard for you, Harry, but Ginny isn't here to protest and we need someth-,"

"No!" Harry yelled, grabbing my attention. I looked up, halfway through cutting my food, to see him standing in front of his dresser, arms spread protectively across its front. "No! I won't let you, these are _Ginny's_ things!"

"I understand that you want to keep them safe, but you won't be able to move on if you keep these things boxed up like this!" Remus replied gently, stepping forward. Harry narrowed his eyes, and I was eerily reminded of myself when I had fought James. Not that I would ever fight that egghead again.

"You're one to talk! I've seen you staring at Tonks's wedding pictures for hours on end. She's dead too!" Apparently Harry had hit him where it hurt, because Remus shrunk backwards, wearing a shocked expression. "I had to _watch_ Ginny die, knowing there was nothing I could do because I was the 'Chosen One'. _You_ just heard about it from Mr. Weasley! _Don't_ tell _me_ I need to move on!"

"You think it wasn't hard to hear about it hours later when she was already long gone? I felt completely powerless, finding out _again_ one of my loved ones had died! Just as I felt when I found out about James and Lily, Sirius and Peter! You got to see her final breath; you got to say your goodbyes! I got to read about that stuff in the paper!" I watched hopeless as the two went back and forth. Who was Ginny? Who was Tonks?

"You would rather have watched Tonks die?"

"I would have rather been able to say goodbye to her! Nymph died two days after our honeymoon!" Remus had been married.

"At least you _got_ a wedding! I was going to propose to Ginny when we got here! I have the ring in my dresser!" I gasped, watching as my son's eyes, so much like my own, filled up with tears.

"But you have friends, people to turn to! Who do I have, Harry?"

"Do you think Hermione and Ron understand? Do you really think I could turn to them?" My god, what had I walked into?

"Yes! You could and they would listen!"

"Really Remus? Well you're wrong! I've never had anybody to turn to!"

"You had Sirius! You had Ginny! You had the Weasleys! I had Nymph for a few years, that's it!" Remus, face flushed and each breath quick and sharp, then stormed off, slamming the door behind him. I sat stupefied as Harry stared at the door for a few seconds, before breaking down and sliding to the floor, leaning his back to the dresser. Not really aware of what I was doing, I pushed my tray off my lap and walked over to him, and then I sat down next to him and pulled his head against my shoulder.

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**A/N: I hope you all liked that. I didn't mean for it to be so angst, so sorry. Then again, it was fun to write. So ha. I have no teaser for you, so I'll just have to tell you that it involves more planning for Lily, and possibly a trip to Diagon Alley, probably with Harry and Lily.**

**Next POV:** _Harry_ **(I'll do Remus eventually.)**

**Final Word Count: 2373 (They will get longer, I'm trying.)**


	3. Harry 2

**A/N: I know, I know, I know! It's late! I'm sorry! This chapter was just a pain to write, because I don't like writing Harry as much as Lily. But anyway, it should pick up from here on. Anyway, pretty soon it will get good. I just realized how stupid that sounded; let me try again. The action starts very soon, when they all go to Diagon Alley and Lily, and Remus go to Hogwarts! Better?**

**And I realize this is short, so deal with it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything you may recognize. Please don't sue me, JK!**

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**Chapter 3: Harry**

It had been a while since I'd lost it like that. I hadn't screamed at someone even when Ginny died. That rush of anger and adrenalin hadn't bubbled up inside me since Dumbledore had died, I had learned to control it, but with Remus I… couldn't. It wasn't fair, what he'd said. Ron and Hermione wouldn't understand, they still had each other.

Lily sat down next to me and guided my head onto her shoulder, just like I had wished someone would have when Ginny had died. I let her, sobbing openly onto her shoulder. No matter how surreal the experience was, I was still grateful. I hadn't cried for a while either. The last time I had let myself indulge in tears had been at Professor Dumbledore's funeral, but after that it had been required that I be strong. Even though I was not the Ministry's poster boy, I was still an icon of hope to many, and I could afford to show weakness. Afterwards, I was in a bit of a funk. People celebrated my defeat of Voldemort, but I could not bring myself to join them. Sure he was gone, but at what cost? Lives had been lost, and as I sipped white wine with Ron and Hermione a week or two after the funeral, trying to put everything behind us, I realized that I'd done what I had been put on earth to do. And I had nothing left. There was no purpose to live for.

Ron and Hermione got married. Wedding plans distracted them from the pain. I helped them out where I could, and went to all the parties and social gatherings that had sprung up. Many times I was the guest of honor at fancy dinners. I received an order of Merlin, first class, for everything I'd done and was even offered the position of Minster of Magic. I turned it down, and once Ron and Hermione were off on their honeymoon, I holed up in Sirius' house. It had been four months and I hadn't left since.

They all think I've gone insane. I read the tabloids, and each rag houses a new theory to where I've gone each day. Most newspapers understand that I'm simply broken hearted. Thankfully out of respect neither the Quibbler, which was now controlled by Luna Lovegood, not the Daily Prophet mentioned me. Currently the latter was owned by Draco Malfoy, my relatively new ally. During the later years of the war Draco had turned spy for the Order, helping me in my hunt for the horcruxes. Of course contact between us was awkward at first, we had been enemies for years and that's not something you can easily forget. Later, however, I began to depend on his feed of information, and we became friends. I haven't seen him since the Weasley's wedding either.

So I cried because I could. I cried because I had messed up in so many ways. I could have done so many things to make my life better, but I hadn't. And now my mother, who I was never supposed to meet, was rocking me back and forth, letting me cry onto her shoulder. I tried to ignore the guilt I'd received from yelling at Remus. He was my friend, he stood by me and yet I'd intentionally used his weakness against him. I'd expected Lily to be angry with me for hurting him and bringing her from her time, but she was as nice as everybody had said, and I saw so soon.

"You know I've only known you twenty minutes but I can already see you're my son," she whispered softly. At first I didn't think I'd heard her correctly, she'd only seen my bad traits so gar, selfishness, and furtiveness to a degree. "You got my temper." I really would have laughed if I hadn't been so mind-bogglingly out of sorts. Of course Sirius used to tell me about my parent's teenage arguments that used to shake the Gryffindor common room. "Although I'm sure I must give _some_ credit to James, he's got a strong furor at times, but I take full recognition for your ability to fire off comebacks." I laughed though my tears, making her smile. Sensing that she was helping, she continued talking, somehow realizing that hearing about her and my dad made me feel better. "Of course James should take acclaim for your ability to bawl your eyes out. You should have seen him this one time last year when he broke both his legs before a quidditch match and wasn't allowed to play. Remus and Peter had to carry him away from the pitch, he was so upset." The thought of my dad being dragged out of the quidditch stands forced the image of Remus' tearful glare out of my mind as I laughed more strongly. Lily pulled backward, forcing me to look her in the eye. She smiled sadly as she thumbed away my tears and tutted softly under her breath.

I had never been a big fan of irony, but you didn't need to be one to see the irony of my situation. My mother, who at this point was younger than myself, was doing something I'd only let a very close friend do. And yet I'd only known her for a little less than a half an hour. "Feeling better?" she asked. I nodded, feeling small.

"Sorry you had to witness that," I said regretfully, ashamed at how I had behaved in front of her. I hoped she hadn't gotten a bad impression of me. She shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. You provided me with a crash course on what's happened since I was sixteen." She laughed softly and glanced downwards nervously. Then se noticed the faded state of my jeans, along with the large gaping hole in the knee and one of my battle scars displayed through it. "If you don't mind me asking, how on earth did you get that?" Her tone was anxious and concerned, reminding me of Molly Weasley. I didn't want to tell her. Lily seemed like the epitome of innocence at this age, she hadn't seen war or death. I wanted to keep her that way, since as her son I needed to protect her.

"Nothing, just a scar." But she didn't back down as she looked over my body. She traced a finger over my arm, which was displayed because of my short-sleeved shirt, then up my shoulder and neck to my face. As her brow furrowed she pressed her index finger to my lightening bolt scar on my forehead.

"You've got them everywhere. And according to magical theory, a scar like this would be the outcome of Avada Kedavra if anyone were to survive it!" She shifted onto her knees and leant forward as I bit my lip. I really didn't want to get into this now, not after I'd cried my eyes out in front of her. "So it's true what Remus said, I did die to protect you."

"I'm so sorry Lily," I said quickly, not sure what to tell someone when they found out they were dead. She shook her head quickly, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Don't apologize, I'm here now. And I'm not leaving anytime soon." Sighing with relief, I stood up and extended a hand. She took it and stood up along side me. "But you really should apologize to Remus." I turned to look at her, a little annoyed that she had brought him up. Upon seeing my doubt, she added, "I know he shouldn't have pushed you like that, but you really do owe it to him. If he's as alone as he says he is, then you may be all he's got." This was true; he was more alone than I was. Plus seeing Lily after knowing she was dead for twenty years had to be upsetting. If James had come with her, Remus would have died from shock. "Harry, you know you should."

"I guess you're right," I admitted quickly, convinced by the earnest look on my mother's face. She smiled victoriously, before dropping my hand and heading towards the door. I just stood for a moment, my own smile growing. I wasn't alone any more. As she stood in the doorway she turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you coming? I don't know where to go!"

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

My confidence had faded when I stood outside Remus' door, Lily waiting patiently at my side. A classic bad sign could be heard from the other side of the door, pages turning. Lily didn't know Remus well enough yet to know that when he was upset, he reminisced, searching through photo albums as if the pictures could reassure him and give him answers. I could almost predict which album he was looking over now, his wedding album.

"Just get it over with, Harry," Lily urged, crossing her arms. I glared at her, before tentatively knocking on the door. The muffled sounds of his album stopped, before the sound of staggered steps came in our direction. Finally Remus opened the door, revealing dozens of photo albums strewn out across the floor, most of which showing pictures of the Marauders hanging out by the lake, or playing quidditch. He looked like death walking, with his hair scuffed up and his shirt untucked. He didn't even bother hiding the Firewhiskey bottle he was holding by its neck. I cringed under his blank, hollow stare, but Lily was distracted. She swept past Remus to kneel down next to a scrapbook, the photo showing featuring her. I watched her pull the leather bound book into her lap, her expression dumbfounded as she looked down at her seventeen-year-old self, who smiled and waved to the camera as James pulled her into his lap. The real Lily just bit her lip sadly, fingering the corner of the page. Remus didn't notice and continued looking at me, completely empty.

"I just wanted to…" I looked in vain to her for support but she wasn't paying attention. "To apologize for what I said earlier." I looked down anxiously. Remus didn't comment. "It was out of line."

"It's fine Harry," he responded quietly, still holding the doorknob. I shifted anxiously, hesitantly looking back to Lily. She was still flipping through the pages, fascinated by the snapshots of her, then her and Sirius, then James and Sirius, then her and Remus, then Peter and Sirius.

"I suppose I'll just… go… then," I mumbled quietly, seeing that Lily would rather stay with him. Remus nodded, and Lily still said nothing. He closed the door as I walked down the hallway. There was one thing off my list. Next I had to enroll her in Hogwarts.

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

**A/N: I think next chapter Remus will comfort her and I'll do their trip to London. I promise it gets better, and not as angsty. And I still don't have a teaser for you, I've just been really busy. I'll update faster next time, since the next chapter should be more fun to write. Thank you for all the reviews! And yes, the romance starts soon.**

**Final Word Count: 1985 (I promise these will get longer.)**


	4. Remus

**A/N: Sorry for the serious lack of updates, but as you all know by now this is not my first priority fan fic. My times goes mainly to Magnetic Attraction and Where White Meets Black, so this one will get updated maybe every other week. That's actually pretty good compared to some of those, 'I'll update every five months' authors. But anyway, next chapter should be pretty good.**

**IMPORTANT! Just so you know, this chapter has a tiny bit of Remus/Lily, but do not run screaming! This fic will have a bunch of switching ships, especially for Lily and Remus, so do not run for the hills! Okay? Promise? **

**And the angst will end soon; this is really the last chapter of total suicidal ranting.**

**Summary (revised and added to): **_Battle scarred and slightly insane, Harry recreates his sixteen-year-old mother. Of course, the spell is permanent, and she has to continue her schooling at Hogwarts, with both Remus Lupin and Severus Snape as teachers. Of course, a lot happened in the twenty years she skipped, and it's up to them to fill her in on just what happened. Angst, drama, Luna Lovegood's slutty American cousin (no joke), and oh so many random ships can be expected. Just trust me, it's good, if not random. You've been warned. Oh, and Draco comes back! Yay!_

**I'll just stop my rant, okay?**

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

**Chapter 4: Remus**

I'll admit that when things get bad in life, I look back at when they weren't so totally crap. Of course as far back as I can remember things haven't been sipping cool drinks on the beach. I was bitten at a young age, and until Hogwarts I'd never had friends who could understand what I went through. Even then I had problems to deal with: my parent's divorce, my hidden transformations, the death of my friend's parents, and eventually the death of my own. After school was the war, then the funerals. Facing prejudice and death my whole life had warped me, and everybody knew it. I was shy, solemn. Nymph used to call me on it. "The world's so much more beautiful when you smile, Remus! Please join us in the land of the living," She teased me, smiling brilliantly as her pink hair reflected the light that seemed to follow her everywhere.

Her hair didn't shine in the pictures; I've always hated that. Staring down at her picture isn't the same as standing next to her, holding her hand like we were seventeen. For one week I had been happy, away from the war on our honeymoon. The picture shows her grinning shamelessly on the beach in California, without a care in the world. For that week I didn't think about the full moon or Voldemort. It was just us.

We didn't know that that would be it.

And now _Lily_ was here, the girl who had left my life abruptly in my twenties when she died to protect her son. Lily _Evans_, not snared by James' charm. Not Potter, Evans! The effect her presence would have on the world I couldn't calculate. Only her old teachers and acquaintances would recognize her, since she was known to the world as a Potter, but the presses couldn't find out. And what would Severus say? He was still teaching potions, and if I remembered correctly, they had been friends before James had ruined it in 7th year. He would treat her like she was twenty-one again; she wouldn't know what to do!

A lot had changed since I was sixteen; I'd fallen in love and done my best to forget about my school days, since I really was the only one left. But now with her walking back into my life, I was forced to remember it all; the infamous nights of Marauder Truth-Or-Dare, the nights in the Shrieking Shack, the dateless Saturdays I spent in the library with that traitorous rat Pettigrew.

I threw back another gulp of whiskey, staring down at a picture of Sirius and James at graduation. He didn't know that he faced thirteen years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. And James, he would get married to the women of his dreams, start a family, and then die. I turned the page, and then saw me absorbed in a book in the library, saying goodbye to Hogwarts the only way I knew how. Even then I wasn't naive or ignorant, but I had no idea what troubles I would face without Dumbledore's protection.

Unable to look at photos from my teenage years without getting completely sloshed, I closed the album and looked over at Lily. She was sitting cross-legged against the wall, with a periwinkle blue scrapbook in her lap. I recognized it immediately, since it occasionally haunted my dreams, I'm not even being sarcastic. Anyway, Lily's mouth was slightly open as she watched one of the photos toward the back. Feeling the need to explain what the book was, I said softly,

"I was going to give that to you for your birthday." She started as if she had forgotten I was in the room. Her hair swept across her eyes as she looked up, confusion in their depths.

"Why didn't you?" she asked, and I pushed my school album off my lap and crawled over to sit next to her, placing my drink beside me. She didn't shrink away. With an amused smile I realized the picture she was looking at was of Sirius and James trying to feed formula to a six-month-old Harry. They both had more of the mush on their faces than Harry had in his mouth.

"Because you died before I could give it to you." She winced at my brutal honesty, before turning the page. It revealed Peter, with the baby on his knee. I scowled at the picture, before ordering, "Turn the page," my voice strangely gruff. Lily didn't, and instead looked up inquiringly at me.

"Why?" she asked innocently. "What did Peter do?"

"He killed my best friends and my wife," I snarled, not at her but at the miniature brunette, who waved at me. Horrified, she quickly moved onwards to the next snapshot, which showed Sirius and her leaning happily against his flying motorbike, a fall wind blowing her hair around behind her, while Sirius' shaggy locks were cemented under his helmet.

"Is Black dead as well?" she asked quietly. Biting my lip, I answered,

"He fell through the Veil of Whispers at the ministry, so chances are you." Poor Lily must have felt so confused. "Chances are that anyone you remember from school is gone or changed by the war, Lily," I told her sadly, thinking of myself. She sighed.

"I can imagine." She turned the page to see her and Alice Longbottom drinking tea while Harry and Neville played with blocks at their feet. "Alice and Frank?" she asked nervously.

"Crucioed into insanity."

"Amy?"

"Dead, killed during an early raid."

"Severus?" I froze. She looked at me, fearing that he had died as well. What could I say, that he was a recluse who played mind games with his students and was constantly plagued by guilt? That it was partially his fault that Voldemort had chosen Lily and James to kill? Snape wasn't the same sixteen-year-old potions making teenager who put up a front around the world but took it down for her. He would treat her like the twenty-one year old who hated her and all she stood for with a passion, not the innocent, unaware _girl_ that she was now. He would push her away deliberately. But him and I, we were the only ties she had to her time in the late 70s. "Remus, did he die as well?"

"No," I said. "No, he's unhurt." Other than the bruised ego, that is. She relaxed noticeably, but still looked concerned. Perhaps she had noticed my shifty eyed glances at my whiskey bottle.

"Then why are you so nervous?" Oh, how to answer?

"He was also effected by the war and isn't the same person. It would be best if you stay away from him when you are at Hogwarts." She arched an eyebrow sonically, that ironically reminded me of Severus himself.

"Why is he at school? Does he teach?" I nodded, relieved that that was the topic she had chosen to harp on. If I remembered correctly Severus had become a death eater sometime in December of our sixth year, so she still was blissfully unaware.

"He is the potions master. I actually teach as well, Defense Against the Dark Arts." She smiled, laying her hand on my arm in a congratulatory gesture.

"That's great Remus, you always do tutor me! In fact, just last night you helped me with my Transfiguration homework!" She paused, remembering it was not last night for me, but over twenty years ago. "I'm never going to get used to this." I laughed nervously, feeling the same way. "I mean, before I went to bed last night I was worrying about what I was going to wear to Truth or Dare tomorrow night, not meeting my own son." I froze, feeling my stomach clench. Had she just said what I thought she'd said? Damnit.

"Lily, what say was it when you went to sleep?" I asked, my voice suddenly shaky. She looked up from the album to watch me, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"October 14th, why?" Shit.

Friday Night Marauder Truth-Or-Dare was legendary back at school, and was invitation only. It had started in our fifth year and had become tradition, with every one in the school clambering for one of the red and gold invitations. Several dares had gone down as Hogwarts myths, such as Sirius' wonderful production of Madonna's 'Like A Virgin' on the top of the North Tower. Of course, admitting secrets was never a good idea, and I was lucky that no one had thought to ask about my monthly disappearances. However, the tradition had ended during our sixth year, when James had unearthed a very personal secret of Lily's. After that, the game hadn't been fun anymore. And it just so happened that that specific game had taken place on October 15th.

"No reason," I answered, reaching for my whiskey. This was going to be harder than I thought. "You know, Dumbledore managed to salvage some of your old stuff, we might have a couple boxes in the attic." She smiled nervously, realizing something important had happened on the 15th. "I'll go poke around for you."

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

Blowing dust off the top of the school trunk, I unclasped the lock to push it open. Lily sat down beside me, biting her lip. We were greeted by another puff of dust as Lily waved it away to see the old trunk's contence. She smiled as she saw the faded gray skirts and robes, amid the mix of old muggle clothing and sets of platform shoes. Lily eagerly dove in, rummaging through it for something as if searching for gold. I pulled a photo off the inside of the lid where it was pinned, to see it was the official picture of our truth-or-dare game, stamped October 15th. It had been taken before the game had started, and all of us were still smiling, with Sirius' girlfriend Amy in his lap, and James' hands on a fidgeting Lily's shoulders. I cringed as I noticed her eyes kept flashing to my sixteen-year-old self.

"Head girl?" Lily breathed as she found her shiny badge in one of the side pockets. "I made head girl?" Tucking the photo away, I nodded.

"Who else?" I responded rhetorically.

"And you made head boy, right?" She wasn't looking at me, only staring down at the badge resting in her palm.

"No, actually James did." She laughed, looking over to me. Still smiling, still so unaware. Don't ask why, please don't ask why.

"How is that possible?" Clearing my throat, I bit my lip. Oh I wish I could tell you, Lily, just how much you missed. You missed the headlines, the letters from angry parents; you missed your own secrets being blurted out by yourself.

"I rejected the position," I admitted quietly. Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. "It wouldn't have been appropriate for me to be in such a position of power because of my… condition." It took her a moment to understand, but she realized what I meant with a wince. Please fall for it, please don't ask why.

"Oh." There was a pregnant pause as I silently begged her not to question further. But I needn't worry, because Lily squealed and dug a bright purple dress out from under a stack of worn schoolbooks. "I was going to wear this tomorrow! Wow, this is so weird!" Smiling at her immaturity, I agreed. "So how was Truth-Or-Dare anyway, I can't believe I missed it." Damn, think fast Remus.

"It was over twenty years ago, I don't remember it perfectly," I protested, although I remembered it as if it were yesterday. It was quite hard to forget, and it had made Lily's life, as well as mine, very difficult. She rolled her eyes and pouted at me, making me shift uneasily. I'd forgotten she'd done that. "Lily, don't do that to me."

"Oh come on Remus, you're only forty-two. You're not old enough to be losing memory." Crud. Next tactic: avoid the problem.

"It was interesting," I started as Lily shifted to sit cross-legged on the floor facing me. "James dared Sirius to sing 'Like A Virgin' from the top of the North Tower. I think we even got it on tape." Lily grinned, obviously lapping it all up. "Needless to say, he did it willingly, and with lots of flair."

"I can imagine."

"Oh, and then I asked James what would he least want the school to know. Turns out he slept with a teddy bear named Mr. Giggles." Lily laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. I smiled feebly. "Then Amy dared me to… um," I halted, blushing with embarrassment. Lily poked me in the ribs.

"Hey, don't hold out on me! What'd she dare you?"

"Alright, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you. She dared me to strip tease down to my boxers to 'Man, I Feel Like A Woman,' ok?" She burst out into laughter, falling onto her back. I glared at her before reaching over to grab my whiskey bottle. Knocking it back, I remembered the Ultimate TOD album Sirius had given me. "I think I have pictures somewhere around here." Lily didn't recover until I handed her the black bound scrapbook, only to burst into a fit of giggles when she saw James clutching a fluffy pink teddy protectively to his chest.

"You hav-haven't mentioned me y-yet," she breathed while flipping through its pages. "What idiotic things did you marauders make me do?" She stopped to stare open mouthed at a picture of me blushing madly as I unbuttoned my shirt, while Sirius and James clapped madly.

"They didn't dare you," I said softly, staring unseeing into her old school trunk. Perhaps it would just be better to tell her, avoid all the nervous dodging of questions.

"Oh god, they truthed me. Potter asked me how I really feel about him, didn't he? Oh that must have been so much fun to call him an arrogant prick straight to his face." I laughed. "That must have bumped his ego down a few notches."

"You brought it down a few alright, but that wasn't what he asked you." She groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes again. "Although there's probably a picture of his reaction to your answer in there, Sirius wanted to document it."

"Stop stalling and tell me the question, Remus, don't make me confiscate your chocolate," she threatened. My eyes widened as she smirked victoriously.

"You wouldn't," I hissed, absolutely shocked, and partly ashamed that the classic threat still stuck.

"Try me." I sighed before saying,

"Fine. James, the plank that he was may he rest in peace, asked you fairly shamelessly who you actually fancied, and how strongly you felt about them." She dropped her book as I coughed awkwardly, her smirk sliding off her face as if she had been slapped. Feeling it was the only thing to do to help and also slightly drunk, I handed her my Fire whiskey bottle. She downed the rest of it, before I summoned another one from my closet. "That must be why Harry's spell chose the 14th to bring you here, they didn't know yet."

"Listen, uh Remus… Can we just pretend you never found out?" I nodded, preferring it that way. After all, it would be pretty hard to teach a 16-year-old Lily Evans about Defense Against the Dark Arts knowing she had had a huge crush on me when I was a teenager.

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

"So then he said, 'It's not my fault Snape fancies you! If you're my girlfriend you can't hand out with that creep!'" Lily snorted into her glass bottle as I retold another infamous fight between her and James that had taken place during our final year. "And you said, 'Sev doesn't _fancy_ me, he's bloody _gay_!'"

"Is he gay?" she asked through her laughter. She hiccupped softly, making me smile. We were both completely piss drunk.

"No, you were just trying to tick James off." She nodded vaguely. "Anyway James goes, 'If he's gay then why does he think I'm such a prick? I'm hot!' And you responded, 'What, do you want him to like you? Because he's been standing behind you for ten minutes!'" Lily fell backwards off my bed and onto the floor, screaming with laughter. I merely laughed at her, the joke wasn't that funny.

Although whiskey bottles four, six, and nine helped.

"And I _dated_ that moron?"

"You married him!" The previous tension between us had disappeared, as well as my sadness that reminiscing had only increased. "But you'll be happy to know Harry's nothing like his father."

"Oh?" I nodded, my eyes zoning out.

"Yeah, much more moody and dark, though who wouldn't be in his position? Fiancé is dead because of who he was. But he's not the only one." Hiccup.

"Fiancé?"

"Yup. Weasley, smart girl. You-Know-Who tortured her right in front of him, but he couldn't do nothin'." The door creaked open, but neither of us noticed. "He could either let her die or let the world die. He chose the first. Hasn't left the house ever since his funeral, hardly speaks, since no one can really understand." Lily listened to every detail, knowing it would explain why she was brought here. I plowed on. "Feels guilty, blames himself. Course he thinks we blame him too, but we don't. He's paying the price now, poor guy." Someone coughed in the doorway. I looked up to see Harry, looking pretty miffed. "Hey Harry! Want some whiskey?" He shook his head, thin lipped. We giggled.

"I just came to say I enrolled Lily at Hogwarts and that tomorrow we can go to Diagon Alley to get her everything she needs." We nodded, and he sighed before sweeping off, glaring at our multiple liquor bottles. After the door clicked shut we once again burst out into laughter for no apparent reason.

It as nice not to be alone anymore.

**0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0**

**A/N: Well, I hope it was worth the wait, though it probably wasn't. I'll work on this over the long weekend, so I'll update faster next time. And I promise next chapter we'll see their trip to Diagon Alley. Really. And Draco makes his first appearance. –Smirk-**

**Teaser?**

_I took in his blond hair and familiar smirk, wide eyed. Was that Lucius Malfoy? But he wouldn't look so young; this boy was just as young as Harry! I took a step closer to my son._

**Laters!**

**Final Word Count: 3332**


	5. Lily 2

**A/N: Wow, has it really been a month since I updated? That scares me. But I'm back, with a super long chapter, new characters, and furthering the plot! Don't worry, I will be updating much faster now since I'm getting really into it. Plus, from now on things start moving really quickly, with Lily going to Hogwarts and Severus being bitchy. It's fun, trust me. And please tell me that this chapter was worth the wait! Don't make me sniff again…**

**And school is finally over, meaning more time to write! Yay! I've already written 3 chapters for assorted stories in the past week alone.**

**Summary:** _In all of his infinite wisdom and loneliness, Harry recreates his sixteen-year-old mother. Of course, having a teenage Lily Evans running around England causes new problems. With both Remus Lupin and Severus Snape as teachers, Lily has to learn about what happened in the twenty-five years since she was in school, as well as work her way around that bitchy slut Soleil Lovegood, who seems to be hitting on **both** Remus and Snape. What's a young Gryffindor to do?_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would have already dropped out of school and be living off the huge pots of money my books had made me. Sadly, I'm not.**

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

**Last time:** _Remus_

"_Hey, Harry! Want some whiskey?" He shook his head, thin lipped. We giggled._

"_I just came to say I enrolled Lily at Hogwarts and that tomorrow we can go to Diagon Alley to get her everything she needs." We nodded, and he sighed before sweeping off, glaring at our multiple liquor bottles. After the door clicked shut we once again burst out into laughter for no apparent reason._

_It was nice not to be alone anymore._

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

**Chapter 5: Lily**

The first thing that registered when I woke up was the pressing feeling on the sides of my head. I winced as I sat up slowly on Remus' bed, realizing what this was: my very first hangover. Still in my pajamas, I found that he must have lay me down here after I fell asleep, and that the photo albums from the previous night had been closed and stashed away, as well as the flood of Fire Whiskey bottles. Remus was dressed in a pair of tan trousers, a button-down shirt, and a fraying gray robe that hung open, and was hunched over his desk, a quill in hand. It was then that I saw how vulnerable he looked, his light brown hair graying slightly in streaks and his once round, boyishly-cute face now handsome and mature, though haunted by a small handful of worry lines around his forehead. The sun threw light across his face, and you could see the teenager he used to be, though it was obvious that this was not the Remus Lupin I had crushed on for years.

"Morning," I said quietly, a little embarrassed about the impression I must have made on him, drunk and giggling. He looked up and gave me a faint smile as I stood up and walked over to his desk, my feet feeling like lead. He set down his quill and handed me a mug, which I took with a nervous glance. In response to my confused expression, he said,

"Hangover cure, Sirius' old recipe." Noticing how healthy Remus looked, I smelled the liquid hesitantly. No smell. Taking that as a good sign I quickly swallowed it, only to find that it was tasteless. He smiled at my surprise, making me blush. "Better?" I nodded.

"So what's going on today?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. The man shrugged, and I tugged nervously on the edge of my flannel pajamas.

"I vaguely recall Harry mentioning going to Diagon Alley last night, but I was so sloshed I can't really remember." I laughed, feeling less nervous now that he had mentioned the previous night's drinking binge. "Why don't you get dressed and I can go round up some breakfast?" I nodded, and he stood up, sweeping his hair off his forehead.

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

Twenty minutes later I found the kitchen, after wandering around lost on my own. With a nervous glance at the house elf heads lining the wall, I ventured through a door to find Remus reading the _Daily Prophet_ at a long table, while Harry stood at the stove, flipping pancakes. He smiled at me as I sat down, before he sent a glare at Remus. He didn't notice.

"Do you like pancakes?" Harry asked as he flipped one onto a plate.

I smirked as I said, "As long as they don't come with a side order of hot sauce." Remus snorted, before holding his paper up higher to prevent me from seeing his grin. My son only shrugged. To Remus, I added, "You four never apologized for that."

"It was just a joke, Lily," he responded, rolling his eyes. Harry sat down across from me and listened, his attention rapt. "No harm was done, right?"

I 'hem hemmed' in protest. "That is _so_ not true! Are you forgetting Lucius Malfoy's 'I've got a napkin, let me get that for you?' stunt? I got felt up by Malfoy!" Harry and Remus both laughed. Stupid planks.

"But you also got to slap Malfoy."

"That doesn't make it any better!" Remus went back to his newspaper, knowing there was no point in arguing. I made small talk with Harry about Quidditch as we finished breakfast, until we were ready to go. He offered me a bowl full of Floo powder, and I took a small pinch and threw it into the flames. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Flourish and Blotts, to get your school books," Remus responded as he took his own pinch. Harry's face hardened.

"No, not there," he argued, his voice low. I blinked. I knew boys for the most part didn't like to read as much as girls, but refusing to just use the fireplace in one was a little extreme. Apparently my son hadn't inherited my love of reading. Remus sighted tiredly and rubbed his temple with his free hand.

"We'll be quick, no one has to see you." I blinked again as Harry shook his head.

"Last time I went in there I had to stun half the shop to leave again. Scrimegour was furious! It will only be worse now that that damn biography's on the shelves." Harry shook his head, smoothing his hair absentmindedly. "Plus I don't feel like facing Hermione, she works there now."

"You have to go eventually, don't put it off," Remus said calmly. I tapped my foot, confused and impatient at the same time. I wanted to go to Diagon Alley and see how much it had changed! Harry glared at the older man.

"I'm not _putting it off_. I just don't want to go," he whined, reminding me of James. I snorted. Harry whirled around and snarled, "What?"

"_I just don't want to go,"_ I imitated, making my voice high pitched and nasal. "You sound like Lucius Malfoy." He scowled and looked away. "What could possibly be that bad about a book store?"

"Alright, fine," he snapped, sounding put out. I smirked as he grabbed his own handful of Floo powder. "You'll see. I can hear the bloody flashbulbs now." He left in an explosion of soot, leaving Remus and I coughing. A little stunned, I turned to face my friend.

"What on earth was that?"

"You see, Harry's a bit of a celebrity," Remus said slowly. "He absolutely hates it, so he tries not to go out too often. It will be easier to understand if you see it for yourself, though hopefully he won't be recognized." Frowning slightly, I shrugged and followed him in the fireplace, wondering why anyone would dislike being famous. Since we didn't seem to have far to go, we were probably in London, and I wasn't very dizzy when I stepped out of the grate in Flourish and Blotts, but I soon became so when I looked around the store. People were everywhere, reading, laughing, joking, and greeting friends. Harry was the lone exception, standing near the wall towards the back, and was scowling at a display of books with his smiling young face on the cover. I stood next to him, reading the cover.

The Truth Behind The Chosen One: Who Is Harry Potter?

Written by Rita Skeeter

"It's full of propaganda," he said, his face harsh. "I didn't even get to read it before it was on shelves. I didn't even know she was writing it!" He took a deep breath, crossing his arms. "She glossed over anything important, still made Sirius look guilty even though he was publicly pronounced innocent, and made me look like a lovable lunatic driven mad by the death of his fiancé." I bit my tongue, holding back questions. He added softly, "I never wanted any of this."

"Well, look who it is," someone drawled from behind us. I stiffened. Oh great. "Scar-head came out of his hole." Harry's face became unreadable as he turned around. I turned, too, tempted to draw my wand when I saw who I was looking at. A blond man looking roughly Harry's age smirked at us, his gray eyes flashing with amusement. He looked me over from head to toe, causing me to fidget uneasily, feeling awkward in my faded jeans and Ballycastle Bats jersey next to his proper black wizarding robes and combed, shoulder-length hair. Wouldn't Lucius Malfoy be Remus' age now? To my surprise Harry smiled, extending his hand, which the blond shook warmly.

"Good to see you Malfoy," he said happily, as my jaw dropped. My son was friends with a Malfoy? How is that possible?

"Same here, Potter. Glad to find you out in the sunlight again." He stepped back, looking over to me. Flashing me a flirtatious smile, he added, "Do introduce me to your friend, Potter." Clearing his throat nervously, Harry said,

"This is Lily Evans, my, uh, second cousin." I extended my own hand reluctantly, confused as to what was going on. Like a true gentleman, there's a thought, Malfoy turned it over and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of my hand, before saying,

"Draco Malfoy, at your service." I blushed. Well _that_ made more sense. Looking back to Harry, I pulled my hand away.

"Malfoy was a spy for our side during the war, one of the reasons we won," Harry told me, erasing my fears. Malfoy looked mock bashful, and gently pushed him on the shoulder.

"Oh don't be so humble, Potter, we all know who deserves thanks. So anyway, what have you been doing the past few months, other than resurrecting your dead mother?" I gasped, tugging on the edge of my sleeve. At my shocked expression, he added, "Oh come on, anyone with half a brain could put two and two together. You two have the same eyes, as everyone always says. 'Eyes as green as a fresh-pickled toad' if I remember correctly." Harry looked like he'd swallowed such a toad. Malfoy winced. "Sorry mate; that just slipped out." I blinked, one eyebrow raised. Harry shuffled his feet.

"What am I missing?" I asked them, but Malfoy shook his head, as if saying I'll tell you later.

"Anyway, I better go. I'm meeting with some stockholders at noon for lunch about a possible office extension. I'll catch you later, Potter." Harry nodded, coming out of his trance. Malfoy looked back to me, flicking back his hair in a very attractive way. "And if you need anything, Ms. Evans, feel free to Owl me. I'm sure I'll see you soon." With a final wink, he swept off into the crowds, leaving me speechless. I swooned; I couldn't help it. It looked like this decade had its own playboy. Harry rolled his eyes at my breathless expression. Remus came up behind us, looking nervous in the crowd.

"What happened to her?" he asked Harry, nodding to me. I cleared my throat and readjusted my shirt, avoiding his eye.

"She's just fallen under the famous Malfoy charm," he said, crossing his arms again. Remus' shy smile disintegrated like ice melting on a summer sidewalk. I glared at Harry, but was rescued from facing Remus' jealous scowl by a frizzy-haired witch who launched herself onto Harry with a squeal. I raised my eyebrows as he gulped, smiling sadly as he awkwardly hugged her, rocking back and forth.

"Oh Merlin, Harry, what a surprise! It's so good to see you. Why are you so skinny? Have you not been eating? How come you haven't returned our owls? Mrs. Weasley's been worried sick, you shouldn't lock yourself up like this. Have you seen Luna? She looks amazing. I'm so glad to see you. I've got major news! Oh, I shouldn't tell you without Ron here, he'll kill me when he finds out I told you, but I just can't help it. Guess what, Harry, we're expecting!" His face went blank, but I could see the mix of shock, hurt and jealousy in his eyes while he hugged the woman who was obviously Hermione. I recognized her from the photo albums, although thankfully in the school pictures of Harry, her, and the red haired boy named Ron, she didn't have the slight bulge around her stomach caused by pregnancy.

She stepped back and smiled at him, her eyes glassy with tears of joy. I felt like I was intruding on a personal moment between these friends, and was relieved when Remus set his hand on my shoulder and said quietly, "Why don't we let these two catch up?"

I nodded gratefully and followed him through the crowds to a section of books (duh). He smiled at me as he said calmly, "That was Mrs. Hermione Weasley, Harry's school friend and the wife of Harry's other friend, Ron. She works here, and in combination with Molly Weasley, her mother-in-law, makes up Harry's surrogate mother team." I nodded, listening closely. He looked over the bookshelf he was standing in front of and skimmed a finger over the embroidered titles, looking for one of my schoolbooks. I shifted from foot to foot, feeling more than a little lost. "Brilliant girl, also fought alongside Harry during the war. She married Ron a few months ago." I hated not knowing about this world. It was all this big mystery that I couldn't understand. People were dead, my son was a hermit, Remus was a widower, and Severus was a teacher who was cruel to his students? It didn't make any sense to me.

"Remus," I said tentatively as he pulled a thick transfiguration book of the shelf.

He didn't face me, only answered a curt, "Yes?"

"Is Severus really as horrible as you've said?" He sighed, sliding the book back in between its companions, before turning to face me. "It just seems so unlikely that he would have changed so much. What happened to him?"

"The only person who could possibly tell you what happened is Severus, but even if you asked him, I doubt you'd get a straight answer." I blinked at him, cryptic much? He noticed my impatient expression and bit his lower lip, as if hovering over confiding a secret. "Alright, fine. You never told me what it was about, but you and Severus had a big fight, around November of our sixth year. All I know is that afterwards you didn't speak to him again." I cringed, setting my jaw. Remus stepped closer and patted my shoulder sympathetically.

"What went wrong?" I asked cautiously, meeting his navy eyes. They welled up in pain at my question. "Remus, don't hold out on me! What happened?"

"I can only assume Severus became a Death Eater." I gasped and grabbed his arm, feeling the need to cling to something. My former best friend, a Death Eater? It sounded completely outrageous, Severus didn't take orders from anyone, much less a raving lunatic Dark Lord! He didn't have a good home life, but he never talked about it. Would he go so far as to seek comfort in servitude?

"A Death Eater?" I whispered, my mouth suddenly dry. He nodded.

"He joined the Order of the Phoenix and switched sides once we were all out of school, but played spy up until the fall of You-Know-Who a few months ago. No one has led a harder life than he has, believe me, Lily, and he's paying for it now." I shook my head in disbelief. Things were so different now. I didn't like it. Hopefully Hogwarts would be better.

"It doesn't seem possible," I whispered, still partially in shock.

"You'd be surprised how much is really possible here, Lily."

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

After buying all of the school supplies I didn't already have, along with a new set of dress robes, Remus insisted we visit a joke shop he said was better than Zonko's. Saying Harry was hesitant is an understatement, he was more like panicked, but when he saw how interested I was in going, he reluctantly agreed. I gleefully followed Remus through the glass doors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Colorful boxes seemed to pop out from the shelves, all black letters and shiny labels, with kids circled around displays featuring everything from boxes of fireworks to little fluffy creatures that came in a variety of pastel colors. A few of the older-looking teenagers, as well as the younger adults around Harry's age waved to Remus, while Harry scampered around the wall and ducked into a room through a curtain, mumbling something about a Defense Decoy. I shrugged and followed Remus through the crowded store over towards the counter.

"Professor!" yelled someone on the other side of the glass counter, and I looked up to see two tall redheads beaming at my companion. They both sported purple smocks, one of which said 'Gred' and the second 'Forge'. Remus grinned as he passed by the long line of people to shake both their hands in turn. "What brings you to our humble abode?" The one labeled Forge asked.

"Hello, boys, how's business coming?" he responded, pulling back to stand next to me. They smirked boyishly as he surveyed the crammed store. "Although I suppose it's obvious that you're flourishing."

"We've just improved our Daydream Charms, every witch this side of Russia seems to want one," Gred boasted, gesturing to an unnaturally pink corner of the store. "They're just flying off the shelves, and they were featured in the _Daily Prophet_ last week!" I watched, eyebrows tilted, as two girls about my age bickered back and forth about a pink box displaying a sexy blond girl in the arms of an raven-haired man, who was the absolute definition of tall, dark, and handsome. I wanted to giggle as I noticed the shiny lettering that ran across them, 'WWW's New And Improved Daydream Charm!'

"Who's your friend, Professor?" Forge asked, as I realized all three of them were now looking at me. I smiled nervously at their identical faces, as Remus cleared his throat and said,

"Fred and George Weasley, meet _Lily_," he enunciated my name, causing the other two to smirk knowingly.

I sheepishly waved as Fred said, "Right, got it, _Lily_. Are you staying with Harry and Remus?" I nodded, as George ducked under the counter for something.

"Lily's actually coming with me to Hogwarts for her sixth year," Remus continued, as the second twin stood up, holding a purple box that he placed on the counter between us. Remus went on to chat with Fred about replacement teachers for the new term as I looked at George inquiringly.

"What's that?" I asked George, pointing to the box. He smiled, flicking back his red hair, which fell back into place just below his ears, as he pushed the box across the counter to me.

"This is our basic girl's school survival kit," he started as he ran his finger across the matching gold text reading this title. "It includes all of our magic quills, including smart answer and quick spelling, as well as an assortment of our fireworks, several of our candies that can get you out of class, especially our new invention 'Paleface Pastries.' Plus a few fake prefects badges, just in case you get into a tight spot." I giggled at the idea of such products, suddenly understanding why their shop was so successful. He leaned over to whisper into my ear, "Plus a few other feminine products it would be best Professor Lupin didn't know about, just a few bottles of Love potions, one or two appearance enhancers, that you really don't need," I blushed, "And an assortment of Daydream Charms." He winked at me as he pulled away. "Our gift to you, Lily. Enjoy this decade." I grinned as I accepted the gift. Maybe there would be something good about living in the future after all. Draco Malfoy, Harry, and both the Weasley twins were really nice. And with You-Know-Who gone, there wasn't anything to worry about.

"Is Harry with you?" Fred asked me, as his brother resumed checking out customers. I shrugged, looking to Remus, who pointed his thumb over his shoulder towards the curtain-covered doorway across the room that my son had escaped into earlier.

"He's cowering in the dark-detector room, no doubt avoiding the light," he answered, while I sent another look at the girl's section, more specifically at the two teenage girls who were now spraying perfume on each other, giggling hysterically. "I'm glad he agreed to come out with us today. He's been a mess lately." One of the girls gagged and hastily slid a light blue bottle back onto the shelf, before exaggeratedly fluffing her brown hair and winking at an imaginary boy. The other play-acted and threw back her shoulders, adopting an oblivious expression and flicking back her own sandy blond hair.

"Is he still blaming himself?" Fred asked, his jokey voice suddenly serious. Remus nodded. I awkwardly shuffled my feet. "We need to get him some closure."

"That's going to be easier said than done." Seeing as they were exchanging significant looks, I took this as my queue to let them plan on their own. Hugging the survival kit to my chest, I said,

"I'm gonna go check on Harry." They nodded, and I slowly turned and pushed my way through the crowd. The two girls I had been watching looked curiously at me as I passed them, and I smiled at them warmly. They smiled back, before I ducked through the curtain.

The room was darker than the outside, and relatively empty. Standing amid the racks of dark cloaks and assorted accessories was Harry, but instead of sporting his tired frown, I was surprised to see an awkward, though real, smile. Next to him was a woman about his age, perhaps younger, with long blond hair that was almost white, and work robes in a violent shade of purple. She was gesturing with her hands, her dangling green earrings flapping with every movement she made. Harry looked nervous, as if intimidated by the shock of bright colors, but seemed nonetheless happy. I stifled a giggle as I noticed she had tucked her wand behind her ear.

"But if I can prove that the Crumple-Horned Snorkack is real, the Ministry says it will give me a grant to do more research! I can only imagine the amount of research I could do with an actual grant! All of our old schoolmates would finally believe me! But the Ministry doesn't seem to think I'll be able to prove it exists anyway. I think they just told me that as a joke. And it would be a lot of work to do in addition to teaching, that could be a problem," the woman said in a vague, airy voice, as Harry nodded along politely. I tiptoed over to the pair as I wondered what on earth they were discussing.

"That's brilliant, Luna, really. I'm sure you'll prove them wrong," Harry offered, seeming dazed. I realized he probably hadn't understood a word she had just said. With a jolt he noticed me, standing a few feet behind his friend, and waved me over. She smiled peacefully as I took my place next to him, and noticed with a blink our similar eye color. "Luna Lovegood, meet Lily Evans, my relative. Lily, this is Luna. She was a year younger at Hogwarts." I shook her hand, feeling a little edgy around her innocent smile.

"You look like her," she said simply, as if stating the obvious. Confused, I looked to Harry, only to see him coughing dryly and looking at something around her ear. "Did you notice that, Harry?" He nodded.

"Yes, I did," he responded. I shifted, guessing correctly that they were discussing his dead fiancé.

"But she has your eyes," Luna continued, her tone bored, as if she had simply stumbled into the conversation. Fortunately, yet another new person interrupted us. However, it was not one who Harry knew either, apparently.

"Are you Harry Potter?" came the awed voice of a black-haired teenager, who looked about my age. She resembled Luna in some aspects, but looked noticeably more alert. Her wide blue eyes were lined with gold eye shadow, and her thin lips were smeared by neon pink lip gloss. I resisted the urge to gag. She licked her lips as she prowled through the curtain, focused completely on Harry and his scarred forehead. He bit his lip, looking away from the girl slinking towards him to Luna instead. "You _are_! Merlin that's _hot_!" I snorted, rolling my eyes at her LA American accent.

"This is my kid sister, Soleil," Luna commented, as if she had only just remembered that fact. The younger Lovegood smirked ferally at him, waggling her fingers seductively as she snapped her gum. Soleil wore a midriff-revealing tube top over freakishly low-riding, snug blue jeans, with a deep blue robe that stank of label fashion. She tore her eyes away from my son to glaze over my faded Quidditch jersey and loose cargo jeans, pausing to snicker and snap. "She was living in America with my cousins during the war and is going to Hogwarts for her seventh year." I swallowed my groan. I had to go to school with this tramp? I may be new in this decade, but was showing five inches of stomach _really_ necessary? Honestly!

"Pleased to meet you, Harry," she cooed, extending her hand.

He stared blankly at her silver nails, not shaking her hand, before saying stiffly, "It was wonderful to see you, Luna. Good luck with teaching." He then sent an annoyed look at me from the corner of his eye, and turned on his heel and left the room, glaring at the floor.

_Pop_. I scowled at Soleil, who only smirked and twirled a strand of her hair, which I now noticed was streaked with blue. She raised a challenging eyebrow at me, which I ignored.

"Nice to meet you, Luna," I said politely, before following Harry out of the door. However, when I re-entered the main part of the shop, he was nowhere to be found. Remus was on the other side of the room, reviewing the many products, but my son was gone.

"He left," someone said gently from behind me. I looked to my right to see the two girls who had been surveying the girl's products earlier on. The one who had spoken was a refreshing brunette, who thankfully wasn't wearing a tube top, or tacky label robes.

"What?" I asked, startled. I wasn't good at meeting new people, and I'd just met enough new people to satisfy me for a lifetime. They smiled, nonthreatening and just nice. I spotted with a sigh of recognition their Hogwarts uniform robes, more importantly their Gryffindor patches.

"Your boyfriend. Dark hair, green eyes. He skittered out the door a minute or two ago," she elaborated, gesturing to the exit. I laughed at the irony. Incest, much? With my own shy smile, I responded,

"He's not my boyfriend, he's a distant relative, but thanks." They nodded, as I looked over at Remus again. He wasn't smiling, he just looked… pensive. They followed my gaze, and chuckled appreciatively.

"Remus Lupin, early forties, resuming his teaching post at Hogwarts, newly widowed, werewolf, figurehead of the second war, personal friend of Harry Potter, exceedingly intelligent, exceedingly attractive, exceedingly lonely," the blonde girl recited, causing me to nod absentmindedly. They giggled. "But I'm guessing you already knew that?"

"Parts of it, yes," I said, as Remus laughed lightly at the description on the side of a box. Shifting to face the two Gryffindors, I extended my hand. "Lily Evans," I added, and the brunette shook it heartily.

"Ella Dawson," she responded, before moving so the blond could introduce herself.

"Kristyn Winter." Like Ella, Kristyn wore nondescript clothing, a white skirt and a blue polo shirt, with her Hogwarts robe and a Chudly Cannons pin. She carried a Madame Malkin's bag, and had light brown eyes rimmed with green. "Are you going to Hogwarts?" she asked. I nodded.

"I just moved here," I lied, knowing that saying I was Harry Potter's mother from the past wouldn't go over well. "I've been living with cousins in France and I'm spending my remaining schooling at Hogwarts." Please don't notice I'm lying! They didn't. Ella nodded, her own hazel eyes focused.

"Did you go to Beauxbatons?" she asked. Kristyn began to snigger at the mention of the school.

I bit my lip. "Yeah."

She smirked and sent a look to her friend. "Is it true what they say about French guys?"

Coughing uncertainly, I shrugged and nodded. They cackled as I wondered what I had agreed to. Just a little nervous, my eyes once again sought out Remus, who was now standing by the door, watching us. As our eyes met I smiled, and he jerked his head towards the outside.

Ella stopped laughing first, and noticed my smile. "Do you live with Professor Lupin, or something?"

"For now, until we leave for school." Kristyn cleared her throat and scratched the back of her neck as Ella's eyebrows rose. I slid my hands into my pockets, after pushing a loose strand of my still shimmery hair behind my ears. A tiny part of me wished that I had at least gotten to go to Truth or Dare, whether James had embarrassed me or not. I had gotten Jem to make my hair all shiny, what a waste!

"Doesn't Professor Lupin live with Harry Potter?" Ella asked, her head tilted to the side.

I gulped. "Yeah," I admitted, chewing on my bottom lip. Both of their eyes widened, and Kristyn made the connection between my 'boyfriend' and my roommate. It was amusing to see her jaw drop. She looked quickly between the door and me, noticing my eye color.

"Your relative who just ran out is _Harry Potter?_" Kristyn asked in a stage whisper as Ella's smirk faded. How famous _was_ Harry? Honestly, did that mean that future me had been famous too?

"Um… Harry's my cousin," I said in an uncertain voice. "On his mother's side." Ella smiled, curious. I suppose that was believable.

"Awesome," she muttered. Remus looked impatient, glancing at his watch.

"I better go," I said, gesturing to him. "I'll see you both on the train?" They nodded.

"Of course, look for us," Kristyn said. "It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too. I'll see you soon." They waved as I walked away towards Remus. He opened the door for me and placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me through it. It was a familiar movement, one that he did in my time as well. It made me feel warm, as well as safe. It was interesting how one gentle touch made me feel closer to home. He gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder and took my gift box from me before asking who my new friends were. I answered quickly, easily.

This wasn't my Remy; he was older and more experienced and different. But he was still Remus Lupin and I saw glad to now someone was still around. I just needed to play catch up.

But twenty-five years was a long time to catch up.

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

**A/N: Wow, that's long. Anyway, I know this chapter was a tad repetitive, but next chapter should be better. I think it will be Lily on the train, but I don't know. And I know the whole name of Soleil is kind of stupid, but I felt like it, so deal. **

**Yeah, so currently there are a few leads for Lily: Draco, George, and Remus. And wait till she goes to school, that should be interesting, with new students and Snape. I think it will come quicker, since I know what I want to do. Laters! And please review!**

**Final Word Count: 5541**


	6. Remus 2

**A/N: Ok, I'm sorry that this update is late and I know that the length of it is disappointing, but I have massive writer's block and I can't think of anything else in terms of Remus to write. I know Lily and Harry aren't in this chapter very much, but I had to catch up with Remus and school for now. Next chapter will be Lily. And of course, that will have her on the train.**

**Summary:** _In all of his infinite wisdom and loneliness, Harry recreates his sixteen-year-old mother. Of course, having a teenage Lily Evans running around England causes new problems. With both Remus Lupin and Severus Snape as teachers, Lily has to learn about what happened in the twenty-five years since she was in school, as well as work her way around that bitchy slut Soleil Lovegood, who seems to be hitting on **both** Remus and Snape. What's a young Gryffindor to do?_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, never will. Sorry to disappoint you.**

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

**Chapter 6: Remus**

The rest of the week, Harry and Lily hung out around the house, trading stories and anecdotes. Two days after her sudden arrival, Lily found the house library, more importantly, the books I had added when I moved in. She dove straight into the few books about this past century, and gasped accordingly at the articles about her son. We all knew that Lily didn't belong here, but it was nice to have her around. The dark and creepy halls that were haunted with memories of Sirius, Ginny and Nymph were now filled with flaming red hair and Witch Weekly magazines once again.

Of course Lily also had to worry about resuming school, and when there was only a day left before she boarded the Hogwarts Express, I realized that there was one more person we had to warn of Lily's impending return. Severus.

Normally one would cower with fear at the mere suggestion of pulling Severus out of his personal research before the students came back. He spent the days during the summer locked away in the dungeons, doing experiments on various potions variations, something he could never find time to do during the school year. The only person who had ever been allowed to visit him during this period of solitude had been Dumbledore, and the chance of myself being skewered on a stirring rod for interrupting was quite high.

But this was big. This was _Lily_.

It was true, what I had said to her, that I hadn't known what had caused Severus and Lily's falling out in our sixth year. It did have something to do with Death Eater initiations, but there had been an underground rumor that Severus had fallen in love with her. James, who had already been smarting over the news that she had harbored a crush on me, was infuriated beyond belief, and his revenge had been unforgivable. This had only further built up the wall between the two friends.

With one final deep breath, I smiled at the dark portrait guarding the passage to his rooms. The sinister looking little girl leered back at me.

"Can you please tell Professor Snape that Remus Lupin wishes to speak with him?" I asked fearlessly, though the creepy painting always gave me the shivers. The girl, who Severus had once told me was named Violet, gave me a funny look before answering,

"Professor Snape is busy, as you well know." She blinked, twirling a strand of her long black hair around her waxy finger.

"Please, this is very important." Violet sighed airily, before narrowing her eyes suspiciously at me. In a deeper voice than normal, the girl said darkly,

"It's going to happen." I rolled my eyes while she stared off above my shoulder, knowing these random predictions of hers were just part of her pessimistic charm. She bent her head, causing her hair to fall dramatically over her face. "This thing you're fearing, it's going to happen for you and Professor Snape."

"I'll keep that in mind." She skulked out of the frame without further comment. I awkwardly shuffled my feet and lent against the wall, until the portrait creaked open. Severus looked as he always did, sallow skinned, lanky frame, with a murderous scowl. He glared at me, as if accusing me of disturbing his eventful schedule. "Good morning Severus," I said politely, stepping forward. He folded his arms and looked down his long nose at me. "I trust you're doing well."

"What brings you out of your little wolf den, Lupin," he sneered, but I was unbothered. The werewolf jibes had slowly lost their kick years ago. "Surely you don't expect me to join you and Potter in your mourning circle." This time his words stung, but I merely frowned before responding,

"Something came up which drew my presence here."

"Let me guess," he interrupted. "The little brat blew himself up in despair, taking 14 muggles with him? That seems to be common with your friends, Lupin." My hold on my tempter was straining, but I kept myself calm before saying,

"Harry remains fine at his house, but what has happened is important in its own right." Again, he interrupted, already in a snippy mood.

"In its own right? What, did the school kitchens run out of chocolate?"

"_Severus_, this is _very important_." He glared at me, but allowed me to continue. "Lily Evans is back." There was no noticeable change in his appearance other than the widening of his eyes. I knew better than to think that he was unaffected, however.

"How on earth could she back? I'm sure you're lonely enough by now to invent imaginary friends, are you sure that that's not the case?" My eyes narrowed and I resisted the very strong urge to hex him into the wall.

"The Mauvais spell, Severus, she's back and she's sixteen." At last I got the response I wanted, the mix of shock and fear in his eyes. Yet, his face remained in a tight scowl. Unlike me, he was not stunned into silence. The tension in the air could have been sliced with a knife and sold in little jars. His voice was icy as he hissed,

"Sixteen?" I nodded. "What date did she leave?"

"October fourteenth." I didn't need to elaborate in terms of what she knew, for he understood what this meant. Lily had absolutely no idea about how much he had changed. "When the Hogwarts Express leaves Kings Cross tomorrow, she will be on it." He snorted.

"You can't expect her to be schooled here, shouldn't Potter be punished? I'm assuming that he's the dunderhead who brought her here."

"We're hoping his popularity at the ministry will be enough to let him get away with it." Severus scoffed, clearly against this idea, but I didn't give him a chance to offer a nasty comment. "Lily is a little naive, you could say. She's still the average teenage girl, meaning you must not treat her as an adult, and do not hold her accountable for what her older counterpart may have done." He sneered bitterly, an awful expression that could and had made first years soil their underwear.

"Rest assured, Lupin, that Evans is just another student in my book." I winced, knowing that this would not be the case in the slightest. Lily would endure the same torture that Harry had, and wouldn't understand why.

"Severus, if she comes to me upset-"

"I'm sure that Potter would gladly defend her honor and curse me into the future." I didn't bother correcting him, since that was pretty much the truth. He still looked weary, underneath the hostility. As cruel as Severus could be to his students, he was still an aging man like myself, who was lonely and afraid. I sighed, already expecting Lily to see this and attempt to cheer him up as she was doing with me. She reminded me of Nymph that way, and Severus had never liked Nymph even slightly. There as no doubt that he would feel the same about his new student, who also had a broken friendship to go against.

"This is a stretch, I'm sure, but could you attempt to be nice?" I asked, my voice serious. He arched one of those dark eyebrows, before drawling nastily,

"You've said your part, Lupin. You can go scurry home to your underage bint now." I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth, struggling not to retaliate. He seemed satisfied.

"Fine, fine," I murmured, realizing he was a lost cause. "She's not our Lily, Severus, _remember _that." He rolled his eyes dramatically before waving me off. I sighed as I walked away. This was pointless.

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

The Hogwarts staff had taken a serious hit because of the war, meaning new staff. People like Severus Snape and I were rare, few adults had returned for this term, and other than Minerva McGonagall, Professor Sprout, Hagrid, and Professor Sinistra, most of the positions were filled by younger adults who had graduated around the time of Harry's final year. Dinner the night before the official first day was an odd affair with just the teachers, and all of the new staff members twittered with excitement and nerves. I sat on Severus' right, as he was next to Minerva, with the rest filling out the sides. Luna Lovegood, the new charms teacher, hummed softly on my other side, with Cho Chang, the new flying instructor, on the blonde's right. Also joining the head tables were Oliver Wood, Blaise Zabini, and Parvati Patil.

Severus looked disgusted by the pleasant atmosphere, quickly downing his elf-made wine so as to leave as soon as he could. He was still in a foul mood, predictably of course, and had already spooked the new Ancient Runes teacher enough for him to run from the room. I wasn't hungry, though I packed up salad for Lily and Harry at home.

"Are you quite well, Professor Lupin?" Luna asked blandly as she enchanted her napkin ring to spin around like a quarter on its edge. I smiled wanly, though I was fond of the girl, and quickly assured her that I was. She blinked, her face betraying no emotion, before adding, "You look as though you could use a good nap."

"I'm sure I could," I responded, not all offended. The full moon had passed two weeks ago, but stress was taking its toll. She nodded sympathetically. "I best be off, I have to spend the night at home before returning tomorrow morning." Sliding my chair out from under the table, I said a hurried goodbye to Severus, who barely waved his hand in return, and turned away. Luna's round blue eyes followed me out of the hall, and I only breathed clearly when I was out of the building and into the muggy August air.

The start of school would be refreshing, I rationalized, starting down the road to Hogsmeade. Classes and grading papers would be a good distraction from- well, _her_. Nymph. With nothing to do all day, she was constantly there in the back of my mind, her laugh, her smile, her miraculous ability to break _everything_, even plastic. I sighed. Here I go again.

Instead of going straight back to Grimmauld Place like I should have done, I took a small detour to the Hog's Head, which was fairly empty. I ordered a stiff drink and quickly downed it, putting up the hood of my cloak. It was always so much harder to picture her face when I could hardly see my own hand in front of my face. The bartender kept filling up my glass and I just kept drinking, too tired and too depressed to think of the consequences of my actions.

I wasn't really even sure how I got home at all, but I could remember the next morning was Lily, a look of concern on her face as she stood over me, her hand cool on my forehead. It made me regret drowning my troubles away, but nothing really seemed to make sense. Not even Harry's voice, which went in and out of focus as if he were speaking from a microphone miles and miles away. My stomach lurched uncomfortably.

"He's got to stop doing this, or I don't know how long he'll last at Hogwarts this year."

"How long has he been drinking?" This was Lily, sounding disappointed and tired.

"Ever since _she_ died. We all have our ways of dealing with loss, and I suppose that he chose Fire Whiskey."

"But I thought he was the reasonable one!"

"Reasonable one my arse. He looks better in public, of course, but he's just as messed up as the rest of us."

From then on everything was just one giant fuzzy blur. Like the previous night, I slept.

**O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O**

**A/N: Yeah, I know. Tiny. But I'll make a huge one for the next chapter, so don't flame me yet. And no teaser, but it will be Lily on the train. It's decided.**


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